Monday, March 7, 2011

What a Weekend!!!

  Whew!  I have never been so glad to see a MONDAY!!  I am still trying to wrap my head around everything that went on this past weekend. 
  Where do I even begin?  I guess its best to go in order! It all started with as soon as the pick up for visitation happened.  We had our hellos and hugs and as soon as hubby was in the car, he let it fly.  Telling the oldest ones that what goes on in our house is not their mothers business unless we are endangering their welfare.  It stemmed from all the nasty text messages over my health from his ex and new furniture that I bought.  Apparently they told their mom about my new living room suite.  The SAME living room suite I had been saving for, for how long? TWO YEARS!!!  Does she think every dime in this household belongs to her or something?  I still can't figure it out.  I learned months ago that my money is MY MONEY and his money is HER MONEY.  (*rolling eyes*) because he was with her first.  I will never understand a woman who tries to remain fully dependent on a man financially.  Especially after she gets child support, alimony etc.  Im just glad my hubby doesnt succumb to her demands.  Apparently from what I know from my hubby and others who are familiar with the situation is that she was ALL about the money while they were married thus he worked 18-20 hour days to support HER lifestyle. So she continues to be ALL about the money.  Sorry, but I refuse to live above my means and force my hubby into an early grave.  When I met him, he was sick.  Very sick.  He had finally had enough and left.  After months of counseling and her attitude towards him, he left.  She will fully admit to not being the wife she should have been.   My hubby spent what seemed like every other week in the hospital for stress reasons and heart issues when I first met him.  Doctors told him he couldnt continue to work the way he does and live longer than another year or two.  It was taking a toll on his body.  Did she care?  NOPE.  Did I care, you bet I did.  I refuse for him to work the way he did when I first knew him.  His children having a father that is alive and well is much more important than her hair, nails, and boobs.  While I whole heartedly agree with child support to SUPPORT HIS CHILDREN, I do not agree with a woman who works full time at a wonderful job to receive alimony.  It's infuriating.  Its called involuntary servitude.  Hes basicly her slave until the time period is up.  It's UNCONSTITUTIONAL! 
  The second thing that happened this weekend is my youngest step-daughter who is 9, decides every other weekend that she is my husbands ONLY child and that she needs ALL of his attention.  What did I expect to change this time?  Nothing, Ive learned to expect nothing.  My oldest step-daughter is very bitter about her sisters behaviour.  Saying she is an attention getter and brags about being "the favorite".  So here I go trying to fix that issue with my hubby.  Hopefully next visit I can get him to take the oldest to lunch or something without feeling guilty for leaving the youngest behind (she is the only one who gets alone time with daddy).  She is also the same one who is insanely jealous of EVERYONE.  I understand she misses her daddy, but some of the stuff she does is mind boggling.  She writes in her diary this weekend and puts it away.  Then she comes to me and says she doesnt want anyone to read it.  I tell her okay, that its her private thoughts and no one will get into it.  I later go into mine and hubbys sanctuary.  The ONE place that is ours and is OFF LIMITS to all of the kids only to find she had been in there without permission and placed her diary entry that was ripped out on top of my pillow.  It said "I miss my old house, I miss my mommy and daddy being married.  I want it back the way it was and will do anything to make it happen. Sorry April."
It tugs at my heart strings, I can only imagine how she feels. So I take her paper back to her and she throws it in the trash, looks at me and says "I mean it, I want my old life back and your not going to get in the way."  I tell her I am sorry that she thinks I am in the way but that things will never go back the way they were.  That life happens and things dont always go the way we want them to.  She goes and writes another entry in her diary.  Later that evening I tell hubby about PART of the issue.  So he asks to see the diary, which had a much nicer version of what she wrote for me inside.  He talks to her and basicly tells her the same thing I did.  It felt good to be backed up.  I felt like she was targeting me, and that she was threatening my marriage.  I wasnt mad about it, but felt something needs to be done about her recent attitude towards me.  Its been blatantly disrespectful the past 2-3 months.  I wasnt upset at her feelings, I was upset that she had no regard for me and that I wasnt going to get in her way.  I know a child shouldnt make me so insane but lately she is.  I think its partly that this little girl, just a few months ago treated me with respect and acted like she loved me so much.  Now the games are being played with pinning biomom and me against eachother.  Shes been caught in telling her mom lies about things I have said.  I wont tolerate that.  Her mom might, and she may even choose to believe her but at my house she WILL NOT get away with lying. 
  The third thing that happened, uggggh!!! The insanity will never end.  I go to get groceries and while loading them in the back of my SUV, I notice someone has scratched a word on my trunk area.  I look at it and it says "Bitch".  REALLY? Well ya know, maybe I have been on edge lately with my health issues and dealing with so much BS, but a bitch I am not.  Hubby and I come home and I call each of the oldest kids and skids individually to a private room and ask a simple task.  "How do you spell the word bitch?  Im serious, so dont laugh and spell it for me."  My middle child says "b-e-c-h".  I knew it wasnt him anyway but for the sake of involving anyone with a halfway ability to spell and write I had to ask.  My youngest stepdaughter joins me in the room after I call her she says "b-i-c-h"  My oldest son who is 10 joins me, I make the same request of him and his reaction was a deep startled breath in and automatically saying he didnt do it he didnt do it.  Mind you, I didnt tell any of them why I wanted the word spelled, just to spell it.  He then breaks down in tears and insists he didnt do it.  Now why would he act that way?  Especially if he "didnt do it" how would he know what on Earth I am talking about.  BINGO, got the one who did it.  I dont even know what to say.  I walk away and send him to his room.  After a much needed 10 minute cool down, I go in his room and ask him to tell me the truth.  He confessed.  He has been giving me major issues lately as well.  Im beginning to think he and my youngest sd are drinking from the same glass.   Issues with stealing tooth fairy money from his brother, lying, failing grades after making honor roll all year, refusing to do his chores (that he gets paid for!), talking back, rolling eyes, throwing food at various items in our house (when eating is ONLY at the table), pushing, hitting, kicking his younger brothers when they are actually NOT even bothering him, spray painiting my trees, grass, deck, youngest brothers bike, and hubbys grill HOT PINK and now scratching a cuss word into my car.  WONDERFUL!   Ive talked to him, his dad has talked to him, my hubby has talked to him, his nanny.....just trying to figure out what is going on with him.  Nothing, he wont even talk about it.  He says he was just acting stupid.  What I wanna know, "WHATS IT GONNA TAKE TO MAKE HIM ACT SMART?????" ugggh!   So now he has to write 500 sentences that say "I will not destroy or disrespect someone elses property."  He also has to wash and wax my car on the next pretty day, as well as pay for the cuss word to be buffed out!  Gotta learn responsibility somehow!
   The good thing about this weekend,  I found out that my attacks are not stress related.  During all the crap this weekend, no attack.  So hopefully we can figure it out when I go to the Doctor.  I am on day 3 I believe of no attacks.  Hopefully they STAY AWAY!  :)

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